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Dependence on God

Posted on October 8, 2019 at 11:50 AM

If you have read my previous posts you already know that I started out my adult life with a job, college and a family to support. Although very much in love and happy we struggled financially to make ends meet early on and rarely had any money left over for “extras”. My husband and I survived primarily on bologna and mac & cheese so that we could afford diapers and formula for our son Matthew. In fact, I can remember coming home to a package of Twizzlers and some Pepsi on my counter and knowing instantly that my parents must have stopped by with groceries because Lord knows we could not afford those things at that time. That period was the first of many when for one reason or another I found myself trying to balance a budget that appeared hopeless. The strange thing is I can never remember thinking “this is it, we’re screwed”. I would instead search for any and every possible way I could resolve the current issue whether it was paying the electric bill, buying food, fixing the car or heating the house. We shopped the discount stores, took on extra hours at work and limited non-essential spending until all the basics were all addressed. Even when those things did not seem enough to fill the gap I always knew, somewhere deep down, that things would work out somehow.

In my late twenties I stumbled upon the passage Matthew 6, 25-34 in the bible. I was at that time a widowed single mom with four children and a large house to maintain. The life insurance I had on Derek was minimal and covered only the funeral expenses, not any of the bills we had shared responsibility for. I had taken a leave of absence from work to help my children get back on their feet and I was sinking further into debt each day trying to keep our family afloat. I prayed each night then as I always had but don’t remember ever praying for money. My prayers were often for strength and healing for my children. Somehow though God always managed to send help every time when we needed it most. Random boxes of food dropped off, fire department members chopping our firewood to heat the house, one of my previous employers sending three thousand dollars that had been donated from employees throughout the company and the list goes on and on. This passage is a firm outward reminder of the knowledge ingrained in each one of us. The knowledge that when you live your life for others, for God, you need not worry for he will meet all of your needs and more. “Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness”, don’t concern yourself with things of this world but rather focus your attention on why you are here, to be a reflection of him. We were given the gift of life to show love, compassion and caring to all we encounter. When that is the focus of our lives we have no need to worry.


Yes, the picture is of the wall beside my desk where it continues to be posted and guide my daily decisions :-)

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Categories: Finding Peace, Understanding & Fulfillment

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